Okay, so I’m going to cheat and post my last column of 2010. Hey, I liked it and hope you’ll like it too (if you didn’t already read it in The Cambrian- sorry if you did). Cheers!
FOR PUBLICATION 12/30/10
Word of Mind, Word of Mouth by Lady Tie Di
My younger son just spent two days in the southland with his girlfriend and her family at the grandfather’s funeral. “You know, it’s funny- you can go from not knowing a person at all to knowing that his favorite color was pink and he’d always forgive people no matter what.” There must have been some interesting stories if my son actually listened to them. Yeah, I know, he was with his girlfriend and he may have worried about a test later…
My point is, like the old saying goes, it’s not what you have but what you do that people will remember most. What you do and how you make them feel, I’d like to add. And of course, that all is guided by how you feel about yourself. Fat, poor, unlucky, insecure, beleaguered, needy. Well, yeah, then that’s the filter people will likely look at you through.
While I am constantly engaged in the battle of the bulge, is everyone going to remember that I used to fit into a size 5 pair of jeans? More importantly, will they care? Do they really care now if I’m carrying a sack of potatoes on each hip?
Does it really matter if there’s a bit of dust on the mantle? I weed and trim the yard when I’ve got the time or feel inspired to do a good job at it. There’s a difference between deferred maintenance and simply maintaining “aesthetics.” I mean, I do take care of what needs to be taken care of be it my own body or the house.
As the New Year rolls around, that’s what my focus will be. “What do I want people to remember me for/as?” I already know I’ll be watching my weight, trying to save money and exercise more. This means, I need to take care of myself more deeply. Granted, my son will be moving away in the fall for college and many people will think that having an empty nest is the only time you’ll get to take care of yourself.
But, truly, I’ve already started this regime. I’m allowing myself to do what I want and not do what I don’t want. I’ve worked really hard to get my brain around making time for fun, creativity and simply doing nothing. I’ve been trying to “feed my soul.”
O.k., I’ve been running on the rodent wheel lately and perhaps that’s why I’m considering all this now, as we’re ready to flip over the last page on the calendar. I’ve been downright crabby lately. That’s not how I want people, especially my sons, to remember me.
Yes, it’s due to hormones, transitions, child-rearing and the rest but it’s how you react or act to all that that gives you a leg up or holds you down. I’ve been letting myself down the last month or two. It’s time to turn the frown upside down.
My list: Give more of yourself and time in ways that make you happy, not because you feel you have to- giving is a gift to yourself. Remember the tea bag tag- “Be so happy that everyone around you feels happy too.” Always look for the good in a moment. Breathe. Think less. Feel more.
Happy New Year!
I would like to add, immediately following Christmas, I got sicker than I have been in recent memory (not counting food poisoning this year). Miles surprised us all by making an unexpected visit for the holidays (thanks to his job taking him to the Bay area!); Joe, the guitar maker freaked out once again and cancelled his visit with me for the holiday; I’d planned on taking some time off from all work to be with him…. I wasn’t ready to combat it, I guess, so my body just wigged out. What I’m saying is, good stuff, bad stuff- it’s just stuff and if you remember that, keep it all in balance, your body will be good to you. When you lose sight of that- wham! At least, that’s what happened to me, I believe. Hmmmmm, maybe I’m purging the man, all this snot… ’bout time! 🙂