While the new day still lies in early morning repose, the emotion of departure mixes with the many new questions, new answers, revelations that have formed over the last ten days. Has the next great American novel been written? Has the cure for cancer been discovered? Have all the world’s problems been solved? No. Not even mine. However…
The blessing of being alone, being still, being quiet, is a gift I wish for everyone. Some may be frightened of it, some may be annoyed, but eventually, they would get it. They would understand when their spirit gently cracks open to life’s possibilities. When they realized their hearts are beating at a more manageable rhythm, their breath is fuller, when their eyes see more and further than before.
Before what? Before that “other” reality. The “reality” of bills and telephones and parties and plumbing problems and excess and guilty pleasures (okay, yes, I had a few of those up here on my mountain retreat), empty bank accounts, cuddling with kitties, playing with friends and thread-bare tires. The concern over those very rubber transport mediums is already beginning to vibrate at the thought of one last trip down this rutty, rocky road and high-speed highway. I suppose I’m already transitioning.
However, I feel I do so with more grace and confidence. Having meditated on the strength and creativity of my ancestors, some whose names I know and others who I do not, warriors and healers, to bring me through and past certain struggles… Alright, I admit, that line was from the Reiki Woman I just spoke with yesterday in the crystal shop in town…. Timing or truth, it made a final shift for me last night. The energy was so bright, it kept me awake for hours. And that was good!
Reiki Woman asked me about what I was doing to work though this place of “stuck” or “lack of confidence”, was I visualizing light? “After all, that is the first thing we see when we are born and it sounds like that is the last thing we see when we die! It is a place of beginning and end and all in between. In that lies strength.”
And so, I suppose it is. We lose sight of what we learned when we were developing in the womb. We are too scared to listen to our intuition or we are vibrating so loudly we can’t hear it. By the end of our lives, so many of us will ignore life’s truths about love and respect and service and compassion because of of all we have allowed ourselves to be taught in our conscious minds, which clouds our true selves, the Qui, the life force. The love force.
We are all energy. We breathe it in- that which has been breathed before by those ancestors to whom we pray as well as every other sentient being in history- we breathe it out- to be absorbed by all those around us now and hereafter. It is what binds us together. We cannot be alone, truly, but in our most conscious minds. Our spirits, our souls… that is the place of love.
Feet in the dirt, lying in the sand, sitting in the garden, take a moment (or as many moments as you can) to be still, to be quiet. Focus on each sound or lack of sound. Then focus on each sensation or lack thereof. Remember, we are one. This, I offer as a gentle reminder to myself. Breathe in. Breathe out.